The Kangaroos bravely fly the banner of freedom, and the Wolverines and Cheese stand guard over the league’s young. But the Johnson Gang runs amok through the rest of the EFL.
EFL Standings for 2019
| EFL | ||||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 11 | 5 | .714 | — | 98.8 | 62.6 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 11 | 5 | .703 | 0.2 | 127.4 | 82.9 |
| Portland Rosebuds | 11 | 7 | .609 | 1.5 | 102.6 | 82.2 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 8 | 5 | .607 | 2 | 80.4 | 64.6 |
| Kaline Drive | 9 | 7 | .578 | 2.2 | 51.3 | 43.9 |
| Peshastin Pears | 8 | 10 | .457 | 4.2 | 90.6 | 98.9 |
| Haviland Dragons | 7 | 9 | .443 | 4.3 | 83.9 | 94.1 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 7 | 9 | .437 | 4.4 | 81.8 | 92.9 |
| Cottage Cheese | 7 | 10 | .432 | 4.6 | 85.1 | 97.6 |
| Bellingham Cascades | 5 | 8 | .367 | 5.1 | 63.9 | 83.9 |
| Brookland Outs | 6 | 11 | .370 | 5.6 | 72.7 | 94.9 |
| D.C. Balk | 5 | 11 | .283 | 6.9 | 59.6 | 94.9 |
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Canberra: W 0, L 2; 11 – 13. (41 PA, .158, .220, .184; 7 ip, 5 er, 6.43 ERA). With a line like that you already know most Kangaroos had a bad day. So I don’t need to say anything about the 7 hitters who went 0 for the day, or the poor Joey Lucchesi who did all that crummy pitching by himself. The news would be the exceptions, especially Tim Anderson’s 3 for 4 with a double — probably all that stood between the league and the Johnson Coup.
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Flint Hill: DNP, 0 – 2. (29 PA, .360, .448, .520; 4 ip , 4 er, 9.00 ERA)… although we should give some credit to Trevor Cahill for his sacrifice in the name of liberty (4 ip, 4 er). Otherwise Yasmani Grandal (2 for 2), Teoscar Hernandez (3 for 4 with a homer) and Javier Baez (3 for 5 with a double ) would have succeeded in storming the castle despite Tim Anderson’s heroics.
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Portland: W, 8 -5. (19 PA, .286, .474 .500; no pitching) Billy McKinney went 0 for 5 — in AAA, having been benched the other day. This left the relatively inert Rosebuds with a nice partial day on offense, featuring Paul Goldschmidt’s 2 for 3 with a homer and 2 walks.
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Pittsburgh: L, 5 – 8. (17 PA, .250, .294, .500; 2 ip, 4 er, 18.00 ERA). A similarly subdued Allegheny team didn’t embarass themselves on offense, but chulked from the mound thanks to Adalberto Mejia.
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Kaline: W 0, L (-2); (-9) – (-13). (20 PA, .059, .200, .118; no pitching). The Drive struggled, but made up for it with lack of volume, staying in the thick of things. Kris Bryant got the only Drive hit — a double — but also contributed 2 HBP to account for 3/4 of the Drive’s baserunners and 4/5 of their total bases gained.
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Peshastin: L, 6 – 10. (20 PA, .316, .350, .684; 5.3 ip, 6 er, 10.13). The good thing about the way the Pears managed their day is this: they had great offense to revel in ( 3 for 5 with a homer and a double fropm Joey Gallo, with additional doubles from Drury, Haniger, and Maldonado) to take their minds off the mess their pitchers made, especially Cam Bedrosian’s quadruple chulk (2/3 of an inning, 3 er).
Haviland: W 0, L (-2); (-6) – (-19). (33 PA, .308, .455, .654; 7.7 ip, 3 er, 3.52 ERA). Had Haviland hewed to its humble home near the bottom of the league, I would never have become alarmed. But homers by Nimmo and Puig, Tapia’s triple, and Rosario’s double, plus Santana’s two walks and two singles, added up to the best offensive day in the league. It was enough to restore two games’ worth of runs that would otherwise have been erased when the Dragons dropped two games played. So the Dragons soared from 11th to 7th place.
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Old Detroit: DNP, 1 – 2. (39 PA, .161, .325, .290; 0.3 ip, 2 er, 54.00 ERA). Someday it will be the Wolverines’ turn to surge up the standings by 4 or 5 places in one day. Signs abound that this day is coming soon! After all, Old Detroit were in second place Monday in a key stat: plate appearances. And Willson Contreras went 2 for 3 with a homer, a walk, and an annoying HBP (which led to the homer his next time up). Also, the W’s had the league leader in daily ERA: Raisel Iglesias took the mound in the bottom of the ninth with a one-run lead, walked a man, and served up a homer for an untoppable infinite ERA.
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Cottage: L, 5 – 7. (30 PA, .370, .433, .370; 1 ip, 0 er, 0.00 ERA). Lots of on-base percentage, no power, almost no pitching add up to stasis in the standings. Jorge Polanco got on 4 times (3 singles and a walk) in 4 plate appearances.
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Bellingham: W (-1), L 2; 4 – 19. (19 PA, .235, .316, .235; 5 ip, 11 er, 19.80 ERA). The Cascades’ three pitchers collected a nonuple chulk (Alex Claudio: 0.3 ip, 3 er), a regular chulk (Boxberger: 1 ip, 2 er), and a near chulk (Dakota Hudson: 3.7 ip, 6 er).
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Brookland: L, 5 – 9. (19 PA, .250, .368, .500; no pitching) I think we’ve been over this. Usually you’re going to need hitting AND pitching to win. Even when Cody Bellinger gets up 3 times, gets walked, gets hit by a pitch, and hits a homer.
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DC: W 1, L 1; 10 – 16. (26 PA, .273, .385, .545; 0.3 ip, 0 er, 0.00 ERA) … and 1/3 of an inning of pitching isn’t enough, either. Even when Omar Narvaez is blasting a homer to go with his single and a walk in 4 trips to the plate.
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Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2019
| AL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Tampa Bay Rays | 12 | 4 | .750 | — |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 11 | 5 | .703 | 0.8 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 7 | 9 | .437 | 5 |
| Baltimore Orioles | 7 | 10 | .412 | 5.5 |
| New York Yankees | 6 | 9 | .400 | 5.5 |
| Toronto Blue Jays | 6 | 11 | .353 | 6.5 |
| Boston Red Sox | 6 | 11 | .353 | 6.5 |
| NL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 11 | 5 | .714 | — |
| New York Mets | 10 | 6 | .625 | 1.4 |
| Atlanta Braves | 9 | 6 | .600 | 1.9 |
| Philadelphia Phillies | 9 | 6 | .600 | 1.9 |
| Washington Nationals | 7 | 7 | .500 | 3.4 |
| D.C. Balk | 5 | 11 | .283 | 6.9 |
| Miami Marlins | 4 | 13 | .235 | 7.9 |
| AL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Minnesota Twins | 8 | 5 | .615 | — |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 8 | 5 | .607 | 0.1 |
| Cleveland Indians | 9 | 7 | .563 | 0.5 |
| Detroit Tigers | 8 | 7 | .533 | 1 |
| Chicago White Sox | 6 | 9 | .400 | 3 |
| Bellingham Cascades | 5 | 8 | .367 | 3.2 |
| Kansas City Royals | 5 | 11 | .313 | 4.5 |
| NL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Milwaukee Brewers | 11 | 6 | .647 | — |
| Pittsburgh Pirates | 8 | 6 | .571 | 1.5 |
| St. Louis Cardinals | 9 | 7 | .563 | 1.5 |
| Cottage Cheese | 7 | 10 | .432 | 3.7 |
| Chicago Cubs | 6 | 9 | .400 | 4 |
| Brookland Outs | 6 | 11 | .370 | 4.7 |
| Cincinnati Reds | 5 | 10 | .333 | 5 |
| AL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Seattle Mariners | 13 | 6 | .684 | — |
| Houston Astros | 11 | 5 | .688 | 0.5 |
| Kaline Drive | 9 | 7 | .578 | 2.3 |
| Texas Rangers | 8 | 7 | .533 | 3 |
| Oakland A’s | 10 | 9 | .526 | 3 |
| Los Angeles Angels | 8 | 8 | .500 | 3.5 |
| Haviland Dragons | 7 | 9 | .443 | 4.4 |
| NL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| San Diego Padres | 11 | 7 | .611 | — |
| Portland Rosebuds | 11 | 7 | .609 | — |
| Los Angeles Dodgers | 10 | 8 | .556 | 1 |
| Peshastin Pears | 8 | 10 | .457 | 2.8 |
| Arizona Diamondbacks | 7 | 9 | .438 | 3 |
| San Francisco Giants | 7 | 10 | .412 | 3.5 |
| Colorado Rockies | 5 | 12 | .294 | 5.5 |