League Updates

The Cascadian Covenant Commences Convincingly…Congratulations!

Andre is married! At least, that is what the picture and Dave seem to indicate. And what better way to combat the awful fires raging all around the west coast than to see two people in love, smiles radiating more warmth than any fire could produce, reminding us that even in the difficult times there are beautiful things on which to fix our eyes. 
Each of our teams responded to this momentous occasion in different ways, but all of us are supremely excited for you, Andre, and extend our love and congratulations to you and your bride.
And a hearty congratulations to Dave, too, who has managed to successfully take on another role among his many others (even though he is retired). The EFL is proud to call you members of our league, and more importantly, friends. 
EFL Standings for 2020
Kaline Drive 24 18 .581 197.5 166.5
Haviland Dragons 23 19 .554 1.1 216.3 194.1
Flint Hill Tornadoes 23 21 .533 2 244.8 231.0
Bellingham Cascades 21 22 .484 4.1 227.1 246.7
Peshastin Pears 21 24 .469 4.8 222.3 234.4
Cottage Cheese 21 24 .467 4.9 232.3 249.6
D.C. Balk 20 24 .460 5.2 203.7 220.8
Canberra Kangaroos 19 25 .436 6.2 224.9 257.1
Old Detroit Wolverines 17 27 .389 8.3 205.0 257.0
Pittsburgh Alleghenys 16 27 .382 8.5 205.1 260.8
Portland Rosebuds 14 31 .318 11.6 216.0 317.1
Kaline: “L,” 7-5 (38PA; 13IP)
AVG: 0.333 OBP: 0.395 SLG: 0.636 OPS: 1.031
ERA: 4.15 WHIP: 1.077
Though the Drive received a loss in the system, they earned a win. Indeed, their day spurred a tiny amount of separation between them and the 2nd place Dragons. How did they do it? It only took two Cubs and a Giant. Willson Contreras was the MVP on the day, going 4 for  with 2 2Bs and a BB. Kris Bryant added two more hits and a BB, and Wilmer Flores went 2 for 4 with a 2B and a HR. The pitching was pretty good, led by Jose Urquidy and his 6IP and 2 ER, but would have been even better if Aaron Civale wouldn’t have given up 4 runs in 6 IP. Though the Drive did manage to add .1 games to their lead over the Dragons, their lead over the Tornadoes shrunk by .3 games, making driving conditions a little less lovely than Andre’s wedding day.
Haviland: L, 4-4 (33PA; 2IP)
AVG: 0.200 OBP: 0.273 SLG: 0.433 OPS: 0.706
ERA: 0.00 WHIP: 0.500
The Dragons, unlike Andre on his wedding day, did not look sharp. The two Cardinals (Bader and Wong) combined for a lackluster 3 for 14 with 4 Ks from Bader alone. The one Phillie, Realmuto, was Realloudo at the plate, going 2 for 4 with a 2B and a HR. Brandon Lowe chipped in a HR, but the 2IP from Alex Reyes, though scoreless, were not enough to send the Dragons to victory, nor any closer to the Drive. But they did get closer to the Tornadoes, which can sometimes be a product of seeing two people get happily married – you become even more thankful for your own family and want to be nearer to them. How sweet!
Flint Hill: W, 9-1 (33PA; 12.7IP)
AVG: 0.259 OBP: 0.394 SLG: 0.444 OPS: 0.838
ERA: 5.67 WHIP: 0.866
The Tornadoes are a team who love to see love flourishing all around them. There’s only one thing that makes us happier than watching two people commit to one another in marriage – and that is winning a game in the EFL. So today feels like we won two games, though the record shows only one win added to our record. The star of the day was Sean Manaea (whom the Oakland announcers have dubbed, “The Manaeaical One,” even though he doesn’t look that crazy to me). He went 7IP and gave up only 1 run, and threw only 61 pitches! The Tornado pitching line on the day looks bad, but the two culprits (Jimenez and Cahill are on the EFL bench…whew!), so our team ERA was 1.00 for the day, and now sits at 2.25 on the month. I hope I didn’t just jinx us. Most of the good hitting came from the two holiest players on the team, Mike Trout and Anthony Rendon, who combined to go 4 for 9 with a 2B and a HR, and who tonight face Tornado pitcher German Marquez at Coors Field. Yikes!
Bellingham: DNP, 2-0 (33PA; no pitching)
AVG: 0.179 OBP: 0.303 SLG: 0.500 OPS: 0.803
Good for you, Andre, for taking a day off after your wedding! In the midst of a busy season in which your team is making a run to the top in the last two weeks, you were able to carve out time for a one day honeymoon. I imagine, because of time and current world conditions, you didn’t get to go to the sunny destination of your dreams, but when you are with the person you love, it doesn’t matter where you go, just as long as you go together. Ronald Acuna, Jr. hit his 6th HR of the month (if you aren’t keeping track, he has 9 hits this month, 6 of them HRs, in 29ABs – yes, one HR per every 5 ABs or so). Paul Goldschmidt and Lane Thomas also chipped in HRs to celebrate the Cascadian Covenant. What a nice gift!
Peshastin: L, 3-3 (34PA; 11.3IP)
AVG: 0.154 OBP: 0.353 SLG: 0.346 OPS: 0.699
ERA: 3.98 WHIP: 1.593
Yesterday’s Pear effort at the plate was done almost entirely by one person, Tommy Edman, who collected 3 of the Pears 4 hits, 1 of their two doubles and their only HR. The only other player to do anything was Juan Soto who added one 2B, and that’s it! It’s as if the Pear management was demonstrating to Andre that in a healthy relationship there has to be more than one person doing all the work, which is generally good advice. The pitchers seemed to understand, with 6 of them appearing yesterday, and 4 of them allowing either one or two runs to spread out the damage so as to make sure not one person was the main culprit. And it worked! Their team ERA of 3.98 allowed their team to eke out a tie on a day when their hitters didn’t care to contribute. 
Cottage: W, 4-(-7) (21PA; 19IP)
AVG: 0.263 OBP: 0.333 SLG: 0.421 OPS: 0.754
ERA: 2.37 WHIP: 0.737
The Cheese were in celebration mode yesterday, and why not? Their daughter married the man of her dreams, and a very successful EFL manager became an official member of the family, proving that Cheese management is both a wonderful father and also an incredible mentor. The hitting was fairly good, led by the two Coreys (Seager and Dickerson) who combined to go 4 for 9 with a HR. But the stars on the day were the pitchers! 4 Cheese pitchers toed the rubber, and over 19 IP allowed only 5 earned runs. The best effort came from debutant Brady Singer who nearly threw 2020s second no-hitter (he lost it in the 8th inning), giving up 0 runs in 8 innings. If the Cheese celebrations will continue on the rest of the month, we all might be celebrating a Cheese championship. 
DC: W, 9-3 (33PA; 7.3IP)
AVG: 0.345 OBP: 0.424 SLG: 0.621 OPS: 1.045
ERA: 2.47 WHIP: 0.685
The Balk captured a smooth win yesterday, almost as smooth as Andre’s tuxedo (nice choice, Andre – you look good!) on his wedding day. 7 batters came to the plate, and 4 of them got 2 hits apiece, 2 of them 1 hit apiece and only one of them had no hits (would you believe his name was Mookie Betts? Would you believe he started at 2B last night?). The pitching was equally awesome, with Dylan Bundy the lone pitcher tossing 7 innings and giving up 2 runs. 
Canberra: L, 2-7 (42PA; 1IP)
AVG: 0.175 OBP: 0.214 SLG: 0.250 OPS: 0.464
ERA: 0.00 WHIP: 0.000
The Roo players played as though they wished they were somewhere else (perhaps at Andre’s wedding?). They sent more players to the plate than any other EFL team, but something wasn’t clicking. Manuel Margot led the team with 2 hits and 2 SBs, and also his first CS of the season. Daulton Varsho, a catcher, did manage to hit a triple, and I imagine that created some excitement in the dugout (some nights you’ll take what you can get…)
Old Detroit: W, 9-3 (28PA; 7.3IP)
AVG: 0.458 OBP: 0.519 SLG: 0.708 OPS: 1.227
ERA: 3.70 WHIP: 1.644
Usually at a wedding the minister presiding over the ceremony will call on those gathered to serve as witnesses to the commitment being made on the altar. Weddings in the time of COVID-19 don’t often have very many witnesses, but hopefully there was someone at Andre’s wedding to witness the monumental occasion. Today in the EFL we also have another monumental occasion to witness – the Wolverines passing the Alleghenys! (I think it is monumental…at least is talked about quite a bit, which makes it important, right?) The Wolverines did so with an excellent all around day. Youngsters Will Smith and Rafael Devers combined to go 7 for 8 with a 2B and a HR, and the entire team OPSed 1.227. And the pitchers kept pace with a combined effort from Morejon, Minter, and Fleming. The Wolverines also made a move to be closer to their offspring, which is what happens when true love flourishes before your eyes. An the Roos are moving geographically closer to the Wolverine management, will a move in the standings follow?
Pittsburgh: W(-1), L1 (-2)-7 (15PA; 5.3IP)
AVG: 0.154 OBP: 0.267 SLG: 0.385 OPS: 0.651
ERA: 18.68 WHIP: 3.019
Sometimes weddings have a way of making you look past what might at other times cause one consternation. Just last weekend I attended a wedding and sat in a chair just a few feet from the DJ. As the wedding party was walking down the aisle, they music just stopped. He started checking all the wires, plugging and unplugging, cursing under his breath, while the audience stared in his direction wondering when the music would begin again. But the wedding party hardly seemed to notice or care, continuing on as though nothing was wrong. Perhaps that is how the Alleghenys feel this morning? I mean, this line is a trainwreck. But Andre got married! And that makes everything feel a little better, no? 
Portland: L, 2-8 (25PA; 3.7IP)
AVG: 0.091 OBP: 0.200 SLG: 0.227 OPS: 0.427
ERA: 7.30 WHIP: 1.351
Look, I don’t know why Rosebud players put up a bunch of putrid numbers yesterday. Besides the Cascade and Cheese owners, the Rosebuds were the only other EFL member actually in the wedding. Look at that bouquet! So why would they players protest in such an ugly manner? The only thing I can think of is that in order to take the collective eyes off of their beauty in order to retrain everyone else’s gaze towards this beautiful ceremony, they had to stink. The problem is too many people are rubberneckers, and so it is difficult to look away. 
Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2020
AL East
Tampa Bay Rays 28 16 .636
Toronto Blue Jays 24 19 .558 3.5
Flint Hill Tornadoes 23 21 .533 4.5
New York Yankees 22 21 .512 5.5
Baltimore Orioles 20 22 .476 7
Old Detroit Wolverines 17 27 .389 10.9
Boston Red Sox 16 29 .356 12.5
NL East
Atlanta Braves 26 18 .591
Philadelphia Phillies 21 19 .525 3
Miami Marlins 20 19 .513 3.5
D.C. Balk 20 24 .460 5.8
New York Mets 20 24 .455 6
Canberra Kangaroos 19 25 .436 6.8
Washington Nationals 16 26 .381 9
AL Central
Chicago White Sox 27 16 .628
Minnesota Twins 27 18 .600 1
Cleveland Indians 26 18 .591 1.5
Bellingham Cascades 21 22 .484 6.2
Detroit Tigers 20 23 .465 7
Pittsburgh Alleghenys 16 27 .382 10.6
Kansas City Royals 17 28 .378 11
NL Central
Chicago Cubs 26 19 .578
St. Louis Cardinals 19 18 .514 3
Cottage Cheese 21 24 .467 5
Milwaukee Brewers 19 22 .463 5
Cincinnati Reds 19 25 .432 6.5
Pittsburgh Pirates 14 27 .341 10
AL West
Oakland A’s 27 15 .643
Kaline Drive 24 18 .581 2.6
Haviland Dragons 23 19 .554 3.7
Houston Astros 22 23 .489 6.5
Seattle Mariners 19 24 .442 8.5
Los Angeles Angels 18 27 .400 10.5
Texas Rangers 15 28 .349 12.5
NL West
Los Angeles Dodgers 32 13 .711
San Diego Padres 29 17 .630 3.5
San Francisco Giants 23 22 .511 9
Peshastin Pears 21 24 .469 10.9
Colorado Rockies 20 23 .465 11
Arizona Diamondbacks 16 29 .356 16
Portland Rosebuds 14 31 .318 17.7


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