Dear Mr. EFL Answer Man:
You have SO MANY different instructions about how to allocate, and now we are coming up on a new month. Please, please… could you just have ONE easy way to do allocate? SIMPLIFY!
Sincerely yours,
Ned Ludd
Owner, Ludington Luddites
Dear Ned:
I don’t believe we have received your application to join the EFL. Your pleasant upper lower peninsula Michigan location appeals to perhaps the most significant portion of our league. You can apply either by submitting an essay in triplicate, plus a reference from one of the current owners, or by appearing in person … What was that??
…
Ok, I have just received your application. It’s not entirely legible — it’s a bit frayed from the entry through the front window, and from being on fire from that flare it was wrapped around. But, um, well… yes. Everything appears to be in order. I’ll bring it up at the next league meeting.
As it happens, I had just finished creating what you requested when I received your, er, application. I have in the last hour or so sent to every EFL owner a new spreadsheet…
Yes, yes, another new spreadsheet. But this is the spreadsheet to end all spreadsheets! Or almost all.
It’s titled “May EFL 2022 YourTeamName(orHomeCity) v2”. It has distinctive pink borders around the top and left of the sheet, and the top line uses that distinctive pink for its font.
Yes, I know, you’ve got dozens of EFL spreadsheets cluttering your Google Drive. But now you can ditch most of the others. You can re-use it to do allocations through all of May. I will update it weekly with new stats (weekly, monthly, or year-to-date, your choice). You can copy it to make your own spreadsheet for research or trial-run purposes, but I don’t think I’ll have to send you another one until the end of May, when it’s time to allocate for June.
The sheet at this point is loaded with year-to-date stats for all your May players as of this morning, Wednesday, May 4, with only one day left in April. (DOn’t worry — my Data Entry sheets are still on April time with April players, so Mookie Betts will still be helping the Tornados today, before shifting over to the Seraphim for Thursday’s games.)
You can work out your allocations in Columns D and F, rows 15 and following for pitchers, and in columns C through I in rows 44 and following for hitters.
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO CUT and PASTE. PLEASE DO NOT CUT AND PASTE. NOR SHOULD YOU TAKE PICTURES AND DELIVER THEM VIA EMAIL, TEXT MESSAGE, WHATSAPP, TWITTER, INSTAGRAM, SNAPCHAT, etc. I DON’T WANT LISTS COMING IN OVER THE TRANSOM (or through the front window, either, thank you Ned). No more phone calls late at night…
[Alice: You’ve had no phone calls late at night, so you can’t have more.]
[Me: You mean I can’t have less. It’s very easy to have more than nothing.]
When you have finished your allocations, just follow the instructions you can find in a comment I’ve attached at cell i16 (or thereabouts) to send me a comment letting me know your allocations are done. I’ll get a notification (I believe by email) that you’re ready. Then I’ll just open your spreadsheet and cut and paste your allocations from there to my data entry spreadsheet.
It’s so easy a Luddite could do it.
Make sure to check cell i16 (or thereabout) for further instructions.
— Mr. EFL Answer Man