Reid Detmers pitched the first no-hitter in Canberra Kangaroo history last night.
Detmers’ nine innings included 108 pitches and only two strikeouts. He recorded eleven ground-ball outs, eight flyball outs, one extra out on a double play — and the other 5 outs apparently by sleight of hand. Do line-outs not count as fly-ball outs? I saw several loud line-outs in the 4 innings I watched.
A walk to the lead-off batter in the 6th, and a 7th inning error at first base, were the only imperfections on Detmers’ evening. Oh, and the Commissioner created a third imperfection by recording only 4.8 games-played in the week in yesterday’s update. Because of that, the Kangaroos played 1.2 games last night, both won and lost, going from 11 – 17 to 12 – 18. When are we going to do something about our Commissioner?
[Hey! It made history! Never before has a complete game no-hitter been both won and lost! Also, it’s the first MLB no-hitter thrown in Australia. It’ll finally get us national recognition — maybe in two nations!I bet attendance at EFL home games will double this year.]
This photo shows the ball after it has come off the bat of Angelic Being Yandy Diaz (who is both an Angel and a Seraphim, which should be true of all seraphim but thanks to Dave is not) with two out in the top of the ninth. It has bounced beyond Detmers’ reach. Detmers is experiencing an instant of panic, just turning his head to see if his shortstop can get it. His shortstop, it turns out, has got it, no trouble, and Yandy is not the fastest Angelic Being. So really, all is well. The no-hitter is complete.
I have a troubling report, however. Here is some correspondence last night between the EFL Commissioner’s Office and the owner/GM/manager of the Kangaroos.
EFL: Are you watching Detmers’ start?
CK: I’m not. I’m watching the M’s. But 6 (innings) no hit is fun.
EFL: … Detmers is thru 7. 83 pitches. Do you leave him in?
(This is shocking! The EFL Commissioner’s Office has to bug Kangaroo’s management to make a decision before the K’s can play the top of the 8th.)
EFL: You need about 8 innings to avoid replacements but I don’t know who else you have pitching.
CK: Nobody as far as I know.
( Three other Kangaroos pitched yesterday: Paul Sewald, Caleb Smith, Ryan Thompson. But the Captain Kangaroo didn’t know it. Scandalous!)
CK: But he’s got a no hitter and a pretty good pitch count. Give him the 8th. And… unless it takes 30 pitches, he gets the 9th as well if it’s still a no hitter.
(Implication: the CK would prefer not to be interrupted to decide about the 9th inning.)
EFL: Thru 8. 94 pitches.
(The Commissioner has standards. One of them is, team managers should make decisions with the latest information, even if the Commissioner’s office has to provide that information.)
CK: Let him do it. France up with the bases loaded and one out. M’s up one.
(Ie, “Don’t interrupt me. I’m doing something important.” Like watching a different ball game.)
EFL: Meanwhile Trout and Ohtani looking very scary.
(Ie, “Maybe you should be paying attention to THIS game.)
CK: Up 2 (referring to the Ms). He got HBP (referring to France). Yeah, Angels could be great if they can get any pitching.
(I don’t know what to say. The WHOLE POINT IS DETMERS IS PITCHING A NO-HITTER. DETMERS, WHO IS BOTH AN ANGEL AND A KANGAROO. And the CK still thinks the Angels don’t have any pitching.)
CK: JP sac fly. Ms up 3 and here comes Julio.
(Aha! So that’s what’s going on. Our Captain Kangaroo is head over heels for Julio Rodriguez, his prize debutant, so much so that he can’t be bothered to watch his supposedly prize rookie Detmers have the night of his life. Sick. Sick, Sick.)
CK: Nope. Suarez. Sorry.
(This is just tragic. The CK only has eyes for Julio Rodriguez. Here, you try it. Which one of these guys is Julio Rodriguez?
Oh, you noticed I put THREE pictures up? Good eyes! If you said “all three are Julio Rodriguez” you are probably the CK. When he thought he saw Julio Rodriguez advancing to the bat, it was really Eugenio Suarez… and Jesse Winker was on deck. Rodriguez wasn’t due to bat until after Winker! But to the CK, it apparently looked like it was going to be Julio Rodriguez batting three times in a row. Which, to be fair, would have been historic, too. ]
[Answer to the quiz: Julio Rodriguez is the guy at the bottom.]
The apology for mistaking Suarez for Rodriguez was posted at 9:03. At 9:04, CK noted another infield single for the M’s. At 9:05 he said there had been 5 or 6 that day.
At those very times, Detmers was on the mound in the top of the ninth. The picture I showed you occurred at 9:09. Did the CK manage to flip the channel over to watch Detmers’ last anxious moment? I don’t know, but in the immortal words of Kangaroo management (an actual quote from a message posted at 9:20, on whether the Kangaroos would surge in the standings):
CK: Let’s hope.
So now the Commissioner is supposed to hope one of the teams in the league prospers at every other team’s expense. As if I would EVER do that. Sigh.
