Latest Outrage: There are Nice Guys In This League Not Finishing Last.

Yesterday I was kind of gracious to the Dragons, saying they deserved to be in first and beginning to run away with the race.  I mean, it was almost Christ-like, in part.

No one commented.  I haven’t been that gracious to someone beating the snot out of my Wolverines in… I’m not sure, maybe ever.  It was totally out of character. It was like, oh, maybe Mark Weinert hacked my link to the EFL website.  Or maybe Tom Johnson.  Or… well, let’s not go too far handing out gracious competition awards in this league.

What can account for this inexplicable silence of the EFL lambs lions?  Amid the myriad possible explanations, only one is 92% probable, and Occam’s Razor compliant: you didn’t read it.

I’d like to feed my gracious side, which is difficult given its anorexia.  So I’m going to run a little test today in case it proves there’s a more benign reason for your silence yesterday in the face of my saying Dragons deserved to enjoy how they were desolating the rest of us. This post is going to be a string of outrageous provocation.  I dare you to remain silent!

 

Haviland:  W. 10 – 6.  .289, .391, .447;   8.3 ip, 4 er. I found that chart I mentioned yesterday, showing how our last period of drafting and trading improved our prospects according to Baseball Prospectus.  According to BP, the Dragons improved from 10.9 wins above replacement over the next two months to 14.2.  But get this:  That’s only THIRD best. The Pears are slated for 16.4 wins above replacement, and the Wolverines for a whopping 16.7.  The W’s are only down 2.3 wins right now, so BP is still projecting the W’s to win the league. Take THAT with your daily dose of EFL carrion!

Old Detroit:  W, 6 – (-2)  .  .311, .373, .556;  15 ip, 4 er.  See, O Dragons?  You had a great day, and the W’s still gained on you. Only 0.1 games in the standings, but we only need to do that 23 more times, and the season is more than twice as long.  Sleep troubled by dreams of little furry burglars stealing your treasure?  I thought so.

Pittsburgh: L, 2 – 3. .159, .283, .250;  15 ip,  3 er.  You improved your BP projection by 1.1 games, so now it projects 14 games above replacement the rest of the way… which doesn’t put you in first place. And here’s something: Mike Trout’s August line: .125, .243, .219.  At least MY first round pick from that draft, Matt Moore, is on the bench where he can’t hurt me.

Peshastin: L, 4 – 6.  .267, .313, .444;  12 ip. 7 er. Last year Ryan gave Pittsburgh Steve Strasburg right in the heat of the pennant race, sealing the W’s alreay dim chances.  This year the Pears gave Haviland Carlos Correa.  But, ha!, BP says it won’t work! The W’s will still win by 0.1 games! And, even though your BP projection for the rest of the season is a mountainous 16.4 games over replacement, yours is the only one of the top four to go DOWN since the end of July — by 0.1 games.  And if you killed Martin Cedarborne I am REALLY going to be upset.

Cottage: W (-1), L 2; .407, .448, .630;  7 ip, 15 er.  I don’t need to say anything to the Head Cheese.  His team yesterday insulted him worse than I could ever do. It would be like … well, the opposite of gilding the lily, which even in my bad moods is something I wouldn’t write in a semi-public forum.

Flint Hill: “W”, 3 – 4.  .206, .282, .353;   2. ip, 0 er.  Hmm, let’s see … Michael Conforto went 0 for 4!  And Alex Guerrero was up to his old tricks, going 0 for 1.  I dunno, this seems a little forced and overly harsh for a team in  6th place.

Canberra: L, 1 – 4.  .188, .188, .219.   1 ip, 0 er.  Now we enter the section of the standings where life itself has been dishing out insults aplenty all season.  I mean, what could I say more provocative than .188, .188, .219? How about this: Bryce Harper went a Troutian .200, .200, .200, which is about dead even average for the ‘Roos yesterday.

Kaline: W (-1), L 2; (-1) – 9.  .125, .167, .125;  1 ip, 2 er.   If you’re such a nice guy, how come you’re not finishing last?  (Acck. My heart isn’t in it anymore.  That’s the worst provocation I can come up with for the Drive? Pathetic.)

Portland: L, 6 – 7.  .317, .429, .415;  10.3 ip, 7 er.  Segura’s line over the weekend: .500, .571, .500.   Hardy’s: .125, .125, .250.   There is no way Hardy’s 1.2 boost in defense is going to make up for delivering 1/4 as much offense.  You, good sir, have ripped me off!