More on Mirages

Cottage: DNP,  (-2) – (-3).  (.280, .379, .320; 14 ip, 2 er).  I thought pitching was supposed to be the Cheese’ achilles heel. We would have nothing to fear from a Cheese with a bad heel. Mike Trout’s 2 for 3 with a walk and a stolen base — sure, he can have an off-day like this every now and then.  But Charlie Morton’s scoreless 5 innings – that’s not supposed to happen. Probably if I rubbed my eyes that specter would go away. But I’m kind of busy right now, so I can’t spare the time.

Haviland: “L”, 7 – 7.  (.333, .444, .533; no pitching). Sure, it looks great. But it’s only 4 guys with 18 plate appearances. On the other hand, Anthony Rizzo is still not really rizzonating: only 1 for 3 with a walk and stolen base — and a pickoff that I am just this moment realizing doesn’t count as a caught stealing in our stats, although it should!  This is why I’m the Commissioner: give me 14 years and I can discover anything.

Peshastin: DNP, (-3) – (-2). (.167, .219, .167;  8 ip, 1 er).  Danny Salazar was the star of the day for the Pears: 6 ip, 1 er. Nothing else happened of note in Peshastin — except they fell into third place.

Pittsburgh:  W 1, L (-1); 2 – (-3). .320, .400, .480;  7  ip, 0 er). Lance Lynn went 7 scoreless innings. Michael Brantley hit a homer . Ender Inciarte went 2 for 4 with a walk — an intentional walk, no less. Lynn and Brantley seem like blasts from a distant past, don’t they?  Whatever — I have a complaint.  I thought the Triumvirate was going to eschew pennant racing this year, and give someone else a chance.  I’m doing my part — but I’m getting nervous as to whether the other two are going to stick to the plan.

Kaline:  W (-1), L 2; 2 – 7.  (.147, .237, .235; 6 ip, 4 er).  Aaron Judge and Yulieski Gurriel combined to go 3 for 6 with a homer and a walk.  Everyone else went 2 for 26 with 4 walks: .077, .200, .077.

Flint Hill:  DNP, 0 – (-4). (.261, .333, .261;  7.7 ip, 1 er).  Robbie Ray matched Danny Salazar, but the Tornado offense was better than the Pears’. Which is all irrelevant when the Alleghenys are zipping through your section of the standings.

Portland: DNP, (-1) – 0. (.217, .333, .348; no pitching). Mookie Betts started the season in a slump, but he’s coming out of it. Yesterday he went 2 for 4 with a double, raising his season line to a neat .325, .400, .400.

Canberra:  DNP, (-3) – (-1). (.130, .130, .130; 5 ip, 1 er).  Such a tidy team batting line: average, OBP and SLG all the same.  It’s a work of art. And every single Kangaroo matched its elegant simplicity, as I suppose would have to be the case.  Alex Bregman went .667, .667, .667 (2 for 3).  Tim Anderson went .250, .250, .250 (1 for 4). The other five ‘Roos who showed up on the off day went .000, .000, .000.  I can’t remember seeing a team line like this with 7 batters or more playing.  It must have happened — it would have to happen if an EFL team has ever been the victim of a perfect pitching game. Does anyone know if this has happened before?

DC:  DNP, 2 – 3.  (.286, .375, .286; 5.3 ip, 5 er).  Jharel Cotton didn’t live up to his hype on this particular day. But Andrew Benintendi did: 3 for 4. So did Robbie Grossman (live up to Benintendi’s hype): 2 for 3 with a walk.

Old Detroit: DNP, 2 – 0.  (.350, .409, .700).  Look, I’m not complaining about yesterday, which was the best day of the year so far for Wolverine hitters. Kolten Wong even hit a homer!  But Austin Hedges had the best day of anyone in the Wolverine organization: 2 for 3 with a double, homer and walk.  When he was was demoted to the Old Toledo Mudrats, Hedges had a 1 for 27 batting line, with 2 walks and a HBP. That’s .037, .133, .037. Since then he’s gone 5 for 11 with 2 doubles, 2 homers, and a walk. That’s .444, .500, 1.192.  Here’s the most aggravating part: I know it’s all a mirage. It’ll disappear as soon as May 1 rolls around with Hedges back in my lineup.