I woke up this morning to read a report of something new and different – a quality hitting performance by the Cheese! For once, we made it up to the Edgar Martinez standard so frequently used by our commissioner to honor good hitting. And then I said to myself – “I bet the commissioner doesn’t mention this in his daily column.”
Of course I was right. Not only was Cottage’s once-in-a-season Martinez impression unmentioned, the tiny space allocated to all things Cheese was used to focus on the latest victim of the Cottage Curse. And then, way down there at the bottom of the column, Edgar Day was celebrated for one of the lower-tier teams who hang around down there.
The other thing I noticed today was that this year, it’s been great to be a former Cheese. In fact I have invented a name for this despicable group: CREEPs. (That’s Cheese Rejects Executing Excellently PostCottage.) Chris Ianetta (who we’re still paying!) gets the CREEP spotlight today in the commissioner column. Over in Fangraphs the kudos went to Matt (Bat) Adams, who (now that he FINALLY gets a chance to play) is excelling for Atlanta. Or was he just happy to get rid of his Cheese costume?
There are plenty of other CREEPs out there, Jose Altuve (sort of an uber-CREEP) chief among them. You’ll be hearing about them in future installments of Le Fromage Cotage.
Altuve is a CREEEP and a EWIE. You wonder how anyone can stand to be around him.