There are a thousand things to say about Robinson Cano’s PED suspension. I won’t say any of the 900 most important things to say. I’m not that smart, not that informed, not in that kind of mood. Nor am I going to run through the entire list of The 100 Least Important Things to Say About Cano.
But here is #901: Jerry Dipoto might be a formidable EFL owner if he ever gets a chance. I thought his move trading for Dee Gordon as a center fielder was clever but inefficient. Gordon is most valuable at 2b: the defensive demands are greater, so the number of players who can play it well and hit well is smaller. Paying 2b prices for a cf seemed wasteful. But now — stashing a spare 2b somewhere down the defensive spectrum turns out to be pretty smart!
#902: You wonder if Dipoto knew something was up with Cano last December when he acquired Gordon.
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EFL Standings for 2018
| EFL | ||||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 25 | 16 | .615 | — | 194.2 | 154.0 |
| Brookland Outs | 25 | 16 | .609 | 0.3 | 219.6 | 178.6 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 24 | 16 | .593 | 1 | 172.1 | 143.0 |
| Portland Rosebuds | 24 | 18 | .565 | 2 | 190.7 | 167.0 |
| Cottage Cheese | 22 | 19 | .532 | 3.4 | 220.5 | 205.7 |
| Kaline Drive | 23 | 21 | .525 | 3.6 | 206.5 | 197.2 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 20 | 20 | .505 | 4.5 | 169.0 | 166.5 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 18 | 23 | .447 | 6.9 | 219.2 | 244.4 |
| Haviland Dragons | 20 | 24 | .446 | 7.1 | 179.3 | 199.8 |
| Peshastin Pears | 18 | 24 | .423 | 8 | 180.7 | 213.0 |
| D.C. Balk | 16 | 25 | .396 | 9 | 153.6 | 190.9 |
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Canberra: W, 6 – 3. (.400, .455, .500; 1 ip, 0 er). The Kangaroos made be burn with envy. Seven ‘Roos came to bat. They all got at least one hit, even the one who only batted once (Starling Marte). That spiffy .955 team OPS stands out, even if it was only 22 plate appearances. # 903: Wasn’t Starling Marte the most recent big-name JDA violator to get an 80-day ban?
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Brookland: W 0, L (-1); 1- (-5). (.300, .364, .500; no pitching). If the Outs had put any pitching up they might have sneaked into first place. Amazing! A day after getting my advice about not lunging rabidly at first place, but easing one’s way toward it, the Outs are clearly taking the kinder, gentler approach. They didn’t have to pitch nobody. They seem to have chosen to skip their pitchers Tuesday to give the Kangaroos time to organize their affairs before ending their current tenure atop the EFL. Also:, No. 904: Robinson Chirinos stepped admirably into the recently-vacated star’s seat labeled “Robinson”: 3 for 4 with a walk and a stolen base.e
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Old Detroit: DNP, 0 – (-1). (.200, .256, .400; 7 ip, 1 er). Modest hitting but great pitching. And also defense: both the defensively well-regarded Willson Contreras and the defensively-maligned Kyle Schwarber made outstanding plays to throw baserunners out at the plate.
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Portland: W, 3 – 3. (.205, .262, .410; 13 ip, 4 er). Very similar stats to Old Detroit’s. Eerie. Gleyber Torres, who would be a Wolverine right now had the Old Detroiter been thinking, went 1 for 2 with a HBP. I wish the W’s management was a little smarter.
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Cottage: W 0, L (-1); (-3) – (-4). (.227, .292, .273; 5 ip, 6 er). Despite the dismal numbers, the Head Cheese looked pretty good Tuesday. As clever as Dipoto was to stash a spare All-Star second baseman on the roster, the Cheese already beat them to it: coming into the season with two All-Star shortstops. So when Corey Seater went down last month, Xander Bogaerts was there to cover the position. He went 2 for 4 yesterday to underline his GM’s brilliance.
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Kaline: W 2, L 1; 13 – 8. (.233, .324, .333; 10 ip, 1 er). The Drive stretched 34 plate appearances and 10 ip across three games, winning two them.
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Flint Hill: DNP, (-3) – (-1). (.167, .194, .167; 7.3 ip, 3 er). Sometimes when an EFL team gets a full game’s worth of playing time on a day off, you get a clear profile of the team’s performance. So in this case we learn that a .360 OPS (over 31 PAs) is enough worse than the Tornados’ normal work to lower the team’s May offense by 3 runs a game. And we learn that a 3.68 ERA on the day reduces average runs allowed per game by one.
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Pittsburgh: L, 7 – 9. (.268, .311, .585; no pitching). I’ve paid no attention to Tyler Austin. Maybe I should: 2 for 2 with a homer yesterday, to lead the potent Pittsburgh attack. Too bad there wasn’t any potent Pittsburgh pitching present.
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Haviland: W 1, L 2; 12 – 19. (.364, .417, .606; 5 ip, 1 er). All that great offense over 36 plate appearances just didn’t quite stretch over three games, especially weighed down by the 43 replacement PA’s charged to third base this month since both of Haviland’s 3b are on the DL. Dragon pitching would have been fine with one game, but with three games they took on 15.6 replacement innings.
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Peshastin: W 1, L (-1); 6 – 0. (.321, .387, .536; 9.3 ip, 1 er) I am listening to the Pirates playing the White Sox as I write this. The announcer just uttered this sentence: “The best news is that not only is Taillon pitching a great game, he shows no signs of being affected by that finger… until just now as that ball is driven deep to right and it’s a homer for Yolmer Sanchez, making the score 2 to 2.” Maybe Moises Alou’s home (and I mean home) remedy wears off after five innings. (Now they’re going on about Senor Wences on the Lawrence Welk show. This is not a conversation anyone will be having on the air a decade from now. It was triggered because one of the Alou’s nickname is Topio Gigio.) (Now Taillon is in trouble: bases loaded with 2 out in the sixth. Whether his day is a success — 5.2 ip, 2 er — or a bust — 5.2 ip 5 er — is in the hands of the Pirates bullpen.) (The first reliever got the batter to ground out meekly on a 3 – 1 pitch, so Taillon had a good day.)
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DC: W, 8 – 5. (.379, .419, .655; 11.3 ip, 6 er). Francisco Liriano struggled (4.3 ip, 5 er) but was rescued by Daniel Mengden (6 ip, 1 er) and good old Kyle Barraclough (1 scoreless). This allowed the great but scant 31 PA) hitting to win the game.
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Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2018
| AL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| New York Yankees | 28 | 12 | .700 | — |
| Boston Red Sox | 28 | 14 | .667 | 1 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 24 | 16 | .593 | 4.3 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 20 | 20 | .505 | 7.8 |
| Toronto Blue Jays | 21 | 21 | .500 | 8 |
| Tampa Bay Rays | 18 | 22 | .450 | 10 |
| Baltimore Orioles | 13 | 28 | .317 | 15.5 |
| NL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 25 | 16 | .615 | — |
| Atlanta Braves | 25 | 16 | .610 | 0.2 |
| Philadelphia Phillies | 23 | 16 | .590 | 1.2 |
| Washington Nationals | 24 | 18 | .571 | 1.7 |
| New York Mets | 20 | 18 | .526 | 3.7 |
| D.C. Balk | 16 | 25 | .396 | 9 |
| Miami Marlins | 15 | 26 | .366 | 10.2 |
| AL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Cleveland Indians | 20 | 21 | .488 | — |
| Minnesota Twins | 18 | 20 | .474 | 0.5 |
| Detroit Tigers | 19 | 22 | .463 | 1 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 18 | 23 | .447 | 1.7 |
| Kansas City Royals | 13 | 29 | .310 | 7.5 |
| Chicago White Sox | 10 | 28 | .263 | 8.5 |
| NL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Brookland Outs | 25 | 16 | .609 | — |
| Pittsburgh Pirates | 24 | 17 | .585 | 1 |
| Milwaukee Brewers | 25 | 18 | .581 | 1 |
| St. Louis Cardinals | 22 | 17 | .564 | 2 |
| Chicago Cubs | 22 | 17 | .564 | 2 |
| Cottage Cheese | 22 | 19 | .532 | 3.1 |
| Cincinnati Reds | 14 | 29 | .326 | 12 |
| AL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Houston Astros | 27 | 17 | .614 | — |
| Los Angeles Angels | 25 | 17 | .595 | 1 |
| Seattle Mariners | 24 | 17 | .585 | 1.5 |
| Kaline Drive | 23 | 21 | .525 | 3.9 |
| Oakland A’s | 21 | 21 | .500 | 5 |
| Haviland Dragons | 20 | 24 | .446 | 7.4 |
| Texas Rangers | 16 | 27 | .372 | 10.5 |
| NL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Arizona Diamondbacks | 25 | 17 | .595 | — |
| Portland Rosebuds | 24 | 18 | .565 | 1.3 |
| Colorado Rockies | 23 | 20 | .535 | 2.5 |
| San Francisco Giants | 22 | 21 | .512 | 3.5 |
| Peshastin Pears | 18 | 24 | .423 | 7.2 |
| Los Angeles Dodgers | 16 | 25 | .390 | 8.5 |
| San Diego Padres | 17 | 27 | .386 | 9 |