League Updates

Happy Melanie Day! (part 2)

Today, August 19th, is Melanie’s birthday.  This is Part I of the post on her birthday.  PART II is below.

I probably should write paeans to every EFL-member’s spouse on their birthdays.  But I don’t know any other EFL spouse’s birthday.  I probably should know other spouse’s birthdays, because various of you have mentioned it was your wife’s birthday.  But I wasn’t taking notes.  I don’t need to take notes to remember Melanie’s birthday.

Birthdays are a big deal to Melanie.     This year my birthday came at a time when Melanie’s mom was in a medical crisis.  Melanie kept apologizing for not making my birthday more special — although she still did make it special.  I told her not to worry, I understood, and was not at all put out.  This was all true, but she’d come back an hour later and apologize again.

When she was 16, she invited friends over for her birthday party. No one came. She was devastated.  When she turned 46 some of her friends threw a “16th birthday” party for her.  It helped a lot, but it didn’t fix the hurt entirely.

Melanie shares her birthday with Bill Clinton.  That doesn’t bother her.  She also shares her birthday with Jim Foster.  That has proven more problematic, because her birthday has several times coincided with the All-Community Meeting kicking off our academic year.  People presiding over the AC Meeting have usually remembered to publicly celebrate Jim Foster’s birthday.  They have seldom remembered to celebrate Melanie’s — unless someone from the audience speaks up.  That helps, but it doesn’t fix the hurt entirely.

Today is another All-Community Meeting.  It is not her favorite way to spend her birthday. I am publishing this introduction to an update early because I hope someone will quietly alert the leaders of the meeting that this is Melanie’s birthday, and a word in her honor and a little song will go a long way toward making today a good memory.

(I will finish this update as soon as I can after BP does the stats.)

.  PART II

Jamie did mention to a meeting leader that it was Melanie’s birthday, but they told hm there were at least 5 birthdays in the group today, so they didn’t plan to mention it. But Robin Baker did anyway — and someone shouted out that it was another person’s birthday, too (I couldn’t make out who).   So it’s hard to catch everyone.  Thanks for the effort, Jamie!

I had the inspiration this morning to run to Fred Meyer and get a birthday cake for her — plus birthday plates, napkins, candles, and a box of matches.  I delivered thsoe to her table while she was away during a break, and her table mates lit the candles and sang happy birthday to her when she got back.  I was back at my own seat by then, next to Mark Weinert.  So she got some recognition.

Melanie is not a baseball fan.  She tolerates it ok, and will go to games to keep me company and be with her family.  But if she thought she could get away with it, she might prefer to bring a book to read.

This wasn’t always true. When she was about middle-school age, living in central Kansas, she became a Kansas City Royals fan.   This was during their glory years, late 1970’s, early 1980’s.  I presume their success helped make the Royals attractive. I’m sure Melanie understood George Brett was the star upon whom the Royals’ championship was built. But Brett was not her favorite player.  Her devotion ran to other players, specifically Darrell Porter and Clint Hurdle.

I am quite certain Melanie did not elevate Porter and Hurdle to the top of her baseball pantheon based on their batting averages, nor even their home run totals.  I suspect what she appreciated about them transcended their on-field performance.

Darrell Porter left the Royals after the 1980 season.  Clint Hurdle departed after 1981. I believe that was pretty much the end of Melanie’s baseball fandom.  If it wasn’t, then her family moving to the baseball desert — Oregon, that is — a couple of years later would have killed it off for sure.

Until she met me.  The longest game I have ever attended in person was a 17-inning marathon in St. Louis,  Mark McGwire’s Cardinals versus Barry Bonds’ Giants. That was a great game. Bonds was intentionally walked with a man already on first and one out in the third inning. He hit a two-run homer with two outs in the top of the ninth on a 2-2 count to tie the game.  McGwire hit a two-run homer with two outs in the bottom of the 12th on a 2-2 count to tie the game.  Melanie, her parents, her sister and her brother-in-law all stayed on anyway, clear to the end of the game in the 17th, Cardinals losing 9 – 6.

Melanie promised in her wedding vows to play fantasy baseball, a promise she kept the next year in the old league with the Stillwater Whippets.  She swept Dave Votaw’s Cupertino ChipWits four straight in the last series of the season to make the playoffs, but lost in the first round.

But that was it for Melanie and fantasy baseball.  Except for tolerating my inexplicably inexhaustible interest in the passtime.

So it is in her honor that I present Monday morning’s EFL standings:

 

EFL Standings for 2019: Morning of August 19
EFL
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB RS RA
Portland Rosebuds 82 44 .651 784.9 572.8
Flint Hill Tornadoes 77 49 .611 5 780.3 618.7
Old Detroit Wolverines 74 52 .589 7.8 756.3 620.7
Pittsburgh Alleghenys 69 55 .553 12.5 655.7 578.5
Haviland Dragons 66 59 .528 15.5 712.0 661.1
Peshastin Pears 66 60 .526 15.8 667.3 631.0
Kaline Drive 63 62 .502 18.8 600.5 599.2
Canberra Kangaroos 62 64 .495 19.7 693.8 704.7
Bellingham Cascades 56 68 .452 25.1 601.0 665.1
Cottage Cheese 54 68 .443 26 687.1 754.0
Brookland Outs 52 70 .430 27.7 611.0 705.5
D.C. Balk 50 76 .401 31.6 576.7 707.0
.
Portland: L, 8 – 8. (47 PA, .244, .319, .537; 12.7 ip, 7 er, 4.97 ERA)
Merrill Kelly and Nick Wittgren combined to cover 6.7 innings with only 1 earned run surrendered. Brett Anderson and Brad Hand combined for 6 ip and 6 earned runs.  One of these pitchers is allocated at 0%. That would be Kelly, whose 5.7 ip, 1 ER drops off the books.  Go Merrill!
.
Flint Hill: L, 4 – 5. (41 PA, .250, .317, .361; 5.3 ip, 2 er, 3.37 ERA).
The hitting wasn’t great by current standards, except maybe  for Keston Hiura (3 for 4, 1 2b, 1 bb; 1.800 OPS). The pitching was solid but not ample. The result was stasis in the pennant race, from the Tornado point of view.  I don’t get it, this immobility.  I thought Tornados zipped around the landscape ripping things up.
.
Old Detroit: “L”, 12 – 8. (59 PA, .365, .424, .692; 19.3 ip 10 er, 4.66 ERA).
Rafael Devers (4 for 5 2 2b, 1 hr, 2.600 OPS), Austin Hedges (4 for 4, 1 hr, 2.750 OPS), Eloy Jimenez ( 2 for 4, 1 3b, 1 hr, 2.250 OPS), and Luis Urias (2 for 4 with a homer, 1.750 OPS) led the Wolverine offense.  Notice anything about those players?  They are 22, 26,  22, and 22 years old, respectively.
  .
Pittsburgh: W, 16 – 10. (35 PA, .414, .514, .862;  4 ip, 5 er, 11.25 ERA). 
Nathan Eovaldi served up 5 earned runs in 2 innings, but the Alleghenys stomped all over their opponents anyway.  Jose Altuve and Bo Bichette went 0 for 4, and Jurickson Profar (he’s still around?) went 0 for 2. Everyone else went 12 for 19 with four doubles and three homers, not to mention 3 walks and a HBP. Remember the inexplicable draft of Mike Moustakas just a few days ago? He went 3 for 4 with a double, 2 hr, and a walk for a 3.300 OPS.
       Melanie’s old fave Clint Hurdle has been in the news lately, not pleasantly. His Pirates are struggling, going something like 4 – 25 recently, and the players have begun squabbling with each other in public.  At least one of those tiffs involved a player (Keone Kela?) and Hurdle himself. Plus Hurdle and some of the other managers in the NL Central are not getting along. The other day the Reds’ manager David Bell was really eager to talk to Hurdle…
… but I’m not sure he got to.
       Can the canny captain of the Alleghenys take advantage of disarray on the crosstown Pirates?
.
Haviland: L, 4 – 5. (36 PA, .231, .444, .308;  5 ip , 2 er, 3.60 ERA)
“Isolated power” is the difference between a player’s batting average and his slugging percentage.  What do they call the difference between batting average and on base percentage?  Isolated eye?  Whatever it is, the Dragons had it in bunches Sunday,  getting only 6 hits but walked 10 ties. Of the nine Dragon hitters, 7 walked.  Not Amed Rosario, of course.  His 0.038 isolated eye is the second worst on the team.  The first worst, Tyler O’Neill, comes in at 0.037, and has only about 25% as many plate appearances as Rosario.  So Rosario leads the Pirates in missed opportunities to walk.
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Peshastin: W, 14 – 6. (45 PA, .350, .422, .875;  10 ip, 5 er, 4.50 ERA). 
Fourteen runs is a pile of runs. Adam Eaton piled them up the fastest for the Pears Sunday: 2 for 3 with a triple, a homer, and two walks: 3.1333 OPS.  Alex Wood tried to give them back just as fast (5 ip, 4 er), but Jack Flaherty ruined that plan with 5 sterling innings of his own (only 1 earned run allowed).
.
Kaline: W, 7 – 5. (61 PA, .309, .377, .564; 6 ip, 3 er, 4.50 ERA.
The Drive settled for 7 runs Sunday. Their top hitter on the day, Oscar Mercado, only went 3 for 4 with a homer and a walk for a 2.300 OPS. Wth 14 batters appearing, the Drive diluted that work much more than the Pears did to Eaton’s really good day.
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Canberra: W, 13 – (-1).  (37 PA, .438, .514, .813; 15 ip,  5 er, 3.00 ERA).
These monster offensive days are so commonplace now, they hardly offend anymore.  I shocked someone in the league the other day when I said “Crap!” about something.  “What happened to ‘pickles’?” he wanted to know.  I was honored that he was shocked — it meant I had not been very offensive in his hearing.  Consider someone whose diction is already replete with expletives.  How much harder he has to work to shock them!   That’s where baseball is today: unable to shock or awe anyone, even when Alex Bregman goes 4 for 4 with a double and a homer, and his team scores 13 runs.
      On the other hand, Kangaroo hurlers DID shock and awe us, allowing only 5 earned runs in 15 innings. That 3.00 team ERA is an increasingly rare sight.              .
Bellingham: W, 8 – 7. (21 PA, .500, .571, .500;  0.7 ip, 0 er, 0.00 ERA)
A nice win for the Cascades, leaping them over the Cheesy frog into 9th place. Jarrod Dyson and Bryce Harper had identical lines!  (True, they were both just one for one. And also true, Harper added a walk. But both of them OPSed a nice 2.000.)  Just think where the Cascades would be if they ran out a full lineup of players.
.     
Cottage:  W (-1), L 2; 1 – 19.  (28 PA, .185, .214, .370;  13.3 ip, 19 er, 12.83 ERA)
Where to start?  With the 19 runs allowed, of course.  Despite everything I’ve written about offense failing to offend anymore, this was a truly astounding eruption from the Cheesey pitching staff.  Chase Anderson led the way, delivering 10 earned runs in only 2.3 innings, for a generous quadruple chulk.
.
Brookland: W, 8 – 4.  (23 PA, .364, .391, .909; 7 ip, 3 er, 3.86 ERA)
Brian Dozier was the requisite offensive stud Sunday: 3 for 4 with 2 homers and a walk for a 3.050 OPS.  How cheaply those come nowadays. The whole team — the whole 11th place team — OPSed 1.300.  But look here, the Outs pitchers did not succumb to such slaughter.  In 7 ip Griffin Canning only allowed 1 earned run.
.
DC:  L, 3 – (-1). (31 PA, .179, .258, .357;  10.7 ip, 0 er, 0.00 ERA)
What miracles are they working down there in the EFL basement.  Five Balky pitchers appeared.  They all surrendered at least one hit — well, all except Kevin Gausman, whose two innings were of the no-hit variety. Whatever their secret, I want some of it NOW.
Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2014
AL East
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
New York Yankees 83 43 .659
Flint Hill Tornadoes 77 49 .611 6
Old Detroit Wolverines 74 52 .589 8.8
Tampa Bay Rays 73 52 .584 9.5
Boston Red Sox 67 59 .532 16
Toronto Blue Jays 52 75 .409 31.5
Baltimore Orioles 39 85 .315 43
NL East
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Atlanta Braves 74 52 .587
Washington Nationals 67 56 .545 5.5
Philadelphia Phillies 64 60 .516 9
New York Mets 64 60 .516 9
Canberra Kangaroos 62 64 .495 11.6
D.C. Balk 50 76 .401 23.5
Miami Marlins 45 78 .366 27.5
AL Central
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Minnesota Twins 76 48 .613
Cleveland Indians 74 51 .592 2.5
Pittsburgh Alleghenys 69 55 .553 7.4
Bellingham Cascades 56 68 .452 20
Chicago White Sox 55 68 .447 20.5
Kansas City Royals 44 80 .355 32
Detroit Tigers 37 84 .306 37.5
NL Central
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
St. Louis Cardinals 65 57 .533
Chicago Cubs 66 58 .532
Milwaukee Brewers 64 60 .516 2
Cincinnati Reds 58 65 .472 7.5
Cottage Cheese 54 68 .443 10.9
Brookland Outs 52 70 .430 12.6
Pittsburgh Pirates 51 72 .415 14.5
AL West
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Houston Astros 79 46 .632
Oakland A’s 71 53 .573 7.5
Haviland Dragons 66 59 .528 12.9
Kaline Drive 63 62 .502 16.2
Los Angeles Angels 62 64 .492 17.5
Texas Rangers 60 64 .484 18.5
Seattle Mariners 52 73 .416 27
NL West
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Portland Rosebuds 82 44 .651
Los Angeles Dodgers 82 44 .651 0.1
Peshastin Pears 66 60 .526 15.8
San Francisco Giants 63 62 .504 18.6
Arizona Diamondbacks 62 63 .496 19.6
San Diego Padres 58 65 .472 22.6
Colorado Rockies 57 67 .460 24.1

 

 

 

1 Comment

  • I love these cliffhanger-like updates. I am breathless with anticipation. Will the faculty group give Melanie the honor she deserves? Stay tuned!

    P.S. I really am sympathetic. As a former GF staffer, I know all about not getting what I deserved – but I’m not complaining. Everything turned out better than expected.